Does Your Boss Refuse to Listen
Posted: Saturday, September 05, 2009
by Pamela Jones
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Why is it that bosses hardly listen to their staff? Maybe it's because they don't know how? Maybe it's because they refuse to. The reason doesn't really matter, as long as you don't let them affect you, or define who you are?
I had worked in professional offices for several years and while I have noticed this behaviour in some offices, there is one office in particular that stands out from the rest. To be fair, my former boss was always kind to me, verbally, but was also very manipulative and deceitful in ways you couldn't even imagine. Like most people, I had a very demanding job. It didn't take me long to figure out what he was truly all about. He was the boss who was always right; no one else can think better them him, if you know what I mean. He really listened to his staff when things went wrong. For example, he used to ask me how I am getting on with certain projects and when I told him the reason certain projects were not completed on time, i.e. because he' had me spending too much time with a relatively new member of staff showing her how to do jobs she should have known how to do. It wasn't until my work fell behind when he decided to listen to me, but only because by then he had his managers on his case.
I worked closely with him on a daily basis and in my opinion, he is a man who is very insecure, immature, and terribly in dire need of management development and people skills. He was in a management position but if he looked at a person once and didn't like them for whatever reason, or heard something about them from one of his petshe would not ever agree with them about anything at all, and on some occasions refuse to even look at them. He played emotional games with people, including with person whose position I took over, rather than listen to them. For example, in front of another staff member and me, he asked someone about a situation and this person was extremely nervous when responding. So he started twisting their words around and making them feel really small and more nervous, rather than take out the time to completely listen to their story. I remember thinking, how could he humiliate her like that, and in particular, in front of us. He reminds me of a controlling parent who calls all the shuts, but when their child speaks their mind about what it is they want and need to do, they either twist their story, cut them off, or both. Maybe one day he will listen - when it's too late!
Now don't get me wrong, I know I need to brush up on my people skills as well and I'm proud to say that I'm growing in that area. I used to grumble to people for saying stupid things to me, which often came across very rude. For example, I could have just given them an agenda to a meeting and later that day they would telephone me and ask me what time is the meeting tomorrow?' To be honest, I think people are just quite lazy, don't pay attention to detail, nor do they listen. But, the frightening part was that most of the people that asked such silly questions were the managers. Do you think they' listen to their staff members? Why is that when a boss isn't actually physically doing a particular job, they don't listen to the staff members opinions on how assignments should be carried out? I think they feel inadequate and sense a loss of control. A secure person and a person of integrity will listen to their staff members.
My former boss needed an assistant, so he hired one. You guessed right, he hired someone who is very similar to him she does not listen, at all, and always thinks she is right! In fact, she is worse than him, because at least he pretends to listen. It's no wonder the business isn't running the way it should and that staff are frustrated and confused on a daily basis. If bosses would only take the time to listen' to their staff they will be surprised at how productive and communicative their staff would become. And the best part is that they would shine more to their bosses.
I was the happiest person the day I left that place. If you are in a position where your boss doesn't listen to you I would suggest you speak them about your feelings. If nothing changes and they continue to not listen to you find out what your options are. For example, maybe you can be transferred to another department, find another job or think about working for yourself. You don't have to stay in a dead end job hoping that the boss will start listening to you one day. More than likely that will never happen because they are on a control high and you cannot change them; they can only change themselves!
All the best!
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