Do You Want to Know Your Life Script
Posted: Thursday, April 09, 2009
by Pamela Jones
In the Know Ebook Store
When you hear the word script' what is the first thing that comes to mind? I bet you're thinking about a script for a play aren't you? No, I'm not talking about a script for a play. I'm referring to your life script'. Everyone has a life script. What is meant by life script? Have you ever wondered why you behave the way you do? Why do you get so angry? Why are you so controlling? Why do you hate people? Why do you have to be the centre of attention all the time? Why are you really' overweight? Okay, you get the picture now.
My understanding and learning of life scripts, from a TA perspective, is that it's a life plan made in childhood on an unconscious level, or rather, the origins of our lives whereby from birth to four years old is when decisions are made, or the developmental period children make unconscious decisions on how they feel (from emotional experiences), while adults make cognitive decisions, based on their thoughts and perceptions.
Injunctions go into life scripts, for example, when parents tell their children don't be,' or don't do,' or be..' which would be considered an introject. Life scripts are about survival; what is made unconscious is made conscious, and that once an unconscious life script becomes conscious choices can be made to change it. Life scripts get acted out,' games get played and pay offs' are made.
If you would like to know your life script, try carrying out a drawing exercise whereby you create a stage with your family as the characters in a play, based your life from birth to twelve years old. Write down feelings, thoughts and behaviours of all family members, including yourself, during the times you most remember at the different ages. This should include your happiness, pain, sadness, joy etc. When I first did this exercise about my script messaging it was an eye opener for me. Once you have completed your drawing read your notes and begin to process and analyse them, then watch your reaction as you become aware of your script. Point out any issue/problems surrounding your drawing and take note of the different personalities and behaviours of your family. You will be amazed how such a drawing exercise can lead to the analysis and concept of your own life script. After you have processed and analysed your drawing you should begin to recognise what your life script is all about.
Now the most important part about knowing your life script is; is there anything in your script you want to change, are you willing to change it, do you know how to change it? I had always been aware of parts of my script that needed to be changed and knew that I could only change myself, not others. However, because of this I used to get angry. What helps me to deal with this on a regular basis is that I now understand my life script and some of my family's life script to some degree, and some of the reasons they behave the way they do. But more importantly, I began to understand why I behave the way I do. So what do you do now? As adults we have a choice to change our script. Changing your script can be a long and painful process, but if you are willing to face it in order to make you become a better person in dealing with yourself and your relationships with others.
Your first point of call is to do some soul searching and stay in the here and now'. Don't let past injunctions define who you are now. Once you recognise and understand your script you can begin to work towards change by thinking and behaving in the here and now' as an adult, and not from a child's perspective hoping to resolve things from your childhood, for example, how to get unconditional love and attention. If you find that you cannot or find it hard to change you can also seek professional help. Practitioners work with their clients towards personal growth and personal change, through therapeutic treatment.
I also understand that one can change their life script to achieve autonomy; I made that decision at a very young age without even being aware of what I was doing. I made an unconscious choice to be independent because I was a little girl then. If you would like to learn more about TA and life scripts I would suggest the book, TA Today' by Ian Stewart and Vann Joines.
Take care of you!
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